Do Your Relationships Affect Your Kids?

With divorce being very much a part of our society today, how do men and women with children handle dating again? It’s bound to happen.

Once you are free, you usually don't want to get hurt again so you wait a while till the hurt becomes less.

Then, sooner or later, you meet up with someone nice and you think it might be a good idea to see the person again.

Dating is the best way to get to know the other person better but what happens when there are kids from previous relationships around?

It’s a very tricky situation. Kids could react two ways – they could take a positive dislike to the person or they could just welcome the person into their hearts. Both are a problem.

In the second instance, what happens if you are only looking for some company, not a long term relationship and your kid won't let go?

If this second case scenario happened when the relationship was serious and you were looking at it long term, that’s great. However, it could cause a lot of angst when children work up their expectations and nothing happens.

What you need to keep in mind is that you were not the only one hurt. Your children are insecure and vulnerable as well.

So dating when you have kids around can be a bit trying for both you and your date to say the least. This is why you need to exercise caution and take it really slow. You need to be sure because it isn't really only your future – it’s your children’s as well.

It would be a good thing not to let the children have too much of interaction with your new date before you decide whether you are going to see a lot of him or her in the future.

When you do introduce your date to your children, it might be better to do so outside the house so it is in neutral territory.

Most children tend to be possessive about their house. Invite the person over after the children are comfortable with them. Some places that could be interesting and where the time could pass quickly are places of action like a bowling alley or a skating rink or maybe even a game.

Don't lecture your kids to be on their best behavior – they will probably take great pains to be at their worst. Just try and be casual and normal and your children as well as your date will take their cue from you.

Tension tends to be a wet blanket where occasions like this are concerned. Go out expecting to have fun – and you know what, you will!