DIY Relationship Therapy

You've got relationship problems, you want to try to sort them out in therapy, it seems to be the popular way used these days. However, do we always have to go out to get our relationships fixed? What happened to the good old do it yourself measures?

Let’s face it, not too many people have the time or maybe even the money for professional help. Secondly, does one really have to take it to a third person before you try to fix the damage yourself?

There are a number of ways you can try to repair a relationship. This could be tried by one person or by both concerned – and this is the more effective option. If we can apply the DIY principle in so many other areas of our lives simply because we do not want to wait around and get others to fix stuff for us, why can't we do it with a relationship as well?

The first place to start is inside yourself. Start by thinking positive. One thing you can do is to go back in your mind when you both fell in love. Try to bring back that feeling in your memory.

Step back a bit and you'll find this comes easy. Now, if both of you are trying together, do something that you did then – hold hands on the beach, stop looking at the watch, keep time for each other, go out for a candlelight dinner and dance. Hold each other close and forget about the world outside – just concentrate on yourselves.

You could even read self-help books. There are some great tips in most of them – pick out the ones you think are applicable and practical and put them to use. You would follow a manual for a DIY kitchen, wouldn't you? One good and recommended therapy could be had in books about Imago – and it means “match’ in Latin.

The other way could be role-playing. Now here, it is imperative that you are not critical but objective. You need to know how your partner sees you so you have some kind of insight into the problem. This will make it easier for you to communicate with each other rather than bottle up your frustration and let it vent in some other way.

Self therapy can be interesting and after you have done it once and come out of the woods, it can be fun. Then, you can use it the moment you see the cracks appear, very much like you would do with your house. If you catch the rot in time, you can go back to the happy way things were.