Marriages Are Made In Heaven

I still can’t believe that I made the single-most important decision in my life within a mere forty minutes. The stage was set that day in August for the customary prelude to the arranged marriage. The prospective groom comes to meet his bride to be so as to make a final decision. The parents had discussed this match for a couple of months and agreed on a suitable meeting venue. As in the case of modern arranged marriages, there is never any coercion since the children are free to accept or reject the match.

As a free-spirited young lady, I was never in the right frame of mind to get married. I wanted to work more and pursue higher studies. My head was brimming with ideas and I was sure that a wedding at this time would foil all my planning. I was also sure that I will always be plotting my next moves and marriage would never figure in my lengthy list.

I belong to a traditional society where staying unmarried is akin to being afflicted with some disease. I knew that my parents would never allow me to keep my single status any longer. I didn’t have a choice in that matter but I knew I would get to pick the most suitable person.

In July 2005, I came home from my place of work after quitting a much-disliked job. I was considering a shift of residence and other job opportunities. I had many job applications floating around and was waiting for the elusive interview-call.

That summer was therefore an intense time for me in-terms of personal and professional life. Mumbai would be the venue for meeting the husband-to-be. I got the railway reservations done for traveling to this great metropolis of modern India. Just as all the plans were looking picture-perfect, catastrophe struck.

Strong rain showers lashed the entire western India. Mumbai and adjoining areas were flooded with monsoon waters. The communication and transport infrastructure was severely damaged. The railways cancelled all their services. Mumbai city was crippled leaving scores of its stranded inhabitants scurrying for cover.

I was only too happy that my ordeal was postponed. I had read too much about these meetings. There were often the prying eyes of the future in-laws, criticizing comments in some cases, bashful grooms-to-be and difficult decisions to be made. However, the delay was short-lived. The groom had only a few days to spend in India and he was due to continue his global travel ventures.

Air travel had resumed in India despite the bad weather. I managed to get flight bookings for Mumbai. There was again a last-minute delay in the travel after I reached the airport in time for the early-morning flight. A plane had over-run the runway in Mumbai and the airport was not accepting further traffic until the plane was removed. In the mean time, the rains in Mumbai worsened.

I sat inside the airport blissfully unaware of what was going on. I was already checked-in and waiting for my flight when I received a phone-call from my brother who was waiting to receive me in the airport in Mumbai. I noticed the pandemonium in the airport with delayed and cancelled flights. People were standing in long queues but were not given boarding passes.

“Avoid traveling to Mumbai unless absolutely necessary”, a sharp voice beamed through the airport speaker system.

Within minutes the passengers were up and running to cancel the tickets or to make alternate arrangements. Some passengers with small kids in tow lamented about missing their connection flights. Others were arguing with the airport personnel. Confusion filled the airport lobby.

There were others who accepted their fate and waited patiently. Some families spread sheets on the ground to settle down their weary children. The normally calm airline staff members were fretting. Confusion reigned supreme as airlines were unable to pacify the irate customers.

I was thinking of an alternate course of action. I thought of cancelling or postponing the flight. I would then have to retrieve my checked-in baggage. I would have some difficulty going home in the adverse weather. I decided to wait and monitor my flight status. The major private airline cancelled all their flights to Mumbai. I was booked on the national carrier and they had just labeled my flight status as “indefinitely delayed”.

I approached the counter for further enquires about my flight. The lady in charge explained to me that they don’t have any information from Mumbai airport. She told me that the airline was willing to take the stranded passengers to the nearest airport hotel. They agreed to bring us back as soon as the flights to Mumbai resumed. I realized that this is the only viable option. I was soon sent to the comfort of a nearby hotel.

I was able to relax and have refreshments there. I spent hours surfing the TV channels in the hotel room waiting for some information from the airport. It was about ten in the night when I got a call from the hotel informing me that my flight was ready for travel. I was already sleepy by then but managed to scramble down to the hotel lobby.

Upon reaching the airport, I realized that passengers were still stranded. The private airlines were not being given authorization to land in Mumbai. The national carrier that I was flying on managed to get a slot. After a quick security check, the flight took off and was on its way to Mumbai. However, the plane had to still circle around Mumbai for some time before given clearance for landing.

I reached Mumbai at around two in the morning. It was not so difficult to locate my brother. His tall stature made sure that his head was visible amongst the crowd waiting for the delayed passengers. He also had his regular Punjabi taxi-driver with him. We loaded the taxi with my luggage and got inside to go to his house in Mumbai.

My unlucky streak continued even then. The taxi refused to budge and was stationed like a stubborn child facing reprimand. My brother and the jovial taxi-driver got out and pushed the taxi. The motors came to life after some frantic pushing. I saw the submerged roads, flooded shanty-towns and people trying to make it home even at that odd hour.

I relaxed for a couple of days in my new surroundings. The preparations were on for the important meeting in Mumbai. The groom had to travel to Mumbai from a neighbouring city to meet me. Even his plans were thwarted a couple of times due to the weather conditions. The day before the suggested date for the meeting, I received an interview call from a Mumbai-based company as a result of an application I had sent months earlier. They seemed very happy to know that I was already in Mumbai. They asked me to come in the next day in the after-noon for the interview.

I was pleased to have both the events on the same day. I was only anxious to get it over with. It would be thrilling to experience the results together. Hospitality is revered in the Indian culture and meetings such as this one required the utmost perfection. My brother arranged to have my aunt come the next day for some guidance.

I got up early in the morning to fix up a meal of chicken stew and bread, halwa, fruits and sweets. I wanted the meeting to be as natural as possible. A flash of lightening went through my head as the door-bell rang. I was wondering whether I was ready for entering into marriage. It meant a lot of commitment, changes in life-style and many compromises. My head was exploding with thoughts as I was called to the living room to meet the guests.

I was glad that the atmosphere was very informal. We both went to a corner to talk in peace. I was shocked to see that the groom was not following the conventional norms. He was in casuals and was in a relaxed mode. He outlined to me a little about his past, his aims and his vision for the future. I distinctly remember him telling me that his family wanted a daughter and not a daughter-in-law. We had a brief exchange of experiences and ideas. In India, the final decision is always made collectively as a family. Contrary to that, he expressed his decision to proceed with the marriage.

I was happy with the proceedings of the day and was still thinking of coming to a conclusion. I was impressed by the laid-back nature of the groom, his reasoning, his ability to communicate and strong personality. I considered myself an accomplished lady educated around the world and pursuing diverse interests. I was sure that he would match my abilities if not better them.

My brother and I rushed to the job-interview venue as we were running late. I didn’t relax much until I came to the lobby of the office. I met with the interview panel within a short time. The interview was a little lengthy but was quite simple. I was able keep poise and answer well all throughout. I was sure that I would be called for the next round.

As expected, I was called for another round the next day and joined soon. During my tenure there, I have never come across such an immediate appointment in that company. It really mesmerizes me to date. That is one of the fondest memories I have of that place. The decision to leave my job was especially painful because of that swift appointment. The job was satisfying, rewarding and the people were warm to me. My work was appreciated and my views were valued. I am trying to find a job in this new country. I have gone through many rounds with companies here and even reached final stages. However, I have not seen the same level of openness to diversity in companies here in Belgium.

After that customary meeting with the groom, I made a quick decision to marry him. Both the families worked on the details of a marriage to be held six-months later on my birthday. We both came to know each other more only after the event was fixed. I believe that there is a great deal of trust that we placed on each other in making this decision.

Choosing a life-partner is a difficult decision that people take years to finalize. They wait for the right time and person. Arranged marriages work on the concept that it is not so much about finding the right person but in being the right person. This brisk decision is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. Although we are completely opposite personalities, there is a common chemistry binding us together. We laugh at our differences and the very few similarities.

Entering into marital life is one of the most life-changing incidents. It is a unique learning experience. There is going to be a lot of marital bliss and some inevitable arguments. All healthy relationships have difference of opinions also. The success lies in managing the differences and keeping the delicate balance of life. It is often said that marriages are made in heaven. I would like to add that heaven is made on earth for those in successful marriages.

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