Is The Shadow Of Your Past Relationship Falling On The New?

You know what they say about falling in love on the rebound – it isn't such a good thing. So what do you need to do to find another love – someone wonderful and just right for you - when you are still so caught up with the heartbreak of your yesterday romance?

True, relationships can be wonderful and can take over your heart so much that you really find it difficult to let go when things go wrong. Some romances are just so much harder to forget than others.

So it’s never a good idea to go straight from one to another because you know that you just are not giving the new one a chance to work. You need to take time out from the romantic world and lick your wounds locked away.

Once you feel you've gotten over the hurt, you can get back into the fray. Easier said than done for most of us. But we do need to fight to fix ourselves up again.

Just time does not do the trick. You need a bit more than that. You need effort and will power. You need to stop whining and tell yourself it was good while it lasted and now you owe it to yourself to get up and get on with your life.

Picture yourself as a slave of the old partner – mourning while he is out playing the field, then let anger take over and set you free. You have to release yourself both mentally and emotionally.

Try to push memories and all thoughts of your ex out of your mind the moment you feel they are taking over. Persistence, we can tell you, pays in this matter. Yes, it does hurt most of the time but there are two ways you can handle the hurt – you can wallow in it or you can push it away whenever it surfaces.

If you find it difficult to let go and thoughts of the past fill your mind to the point of depression, you might want to join a self-help group or maybe even seek counseling services. You owe it to yourself. What this does very often is make you see that others have gone through the same thing as well and with time, you get your self-esteem back. When you talk to a third person who is objective, you find that you can talk your pain away very often.

Before you get into a new relationship, you have to be fair to both yourself as well as your new partner. You can only do this if you learn to get over the lack of confidence and feel good about yourself again. You need to love yourself once more. Once you can do that, you see things with new eyes and you are ready to look at any new relationship without memories from the past casting their long and gloomy shadows on you.

The future could be full of hope and promise. All it needs is for you to have the eyes to see. You can only do this if you are positive and you have gone past the pain. Don't let yesterday’s shadow spoil tomorrow’s pleasure for you.